Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

What is the logic behind the porn being legal but not prostitution? Isn't it the same thing in essence?

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

Is fellatio addictive?

I have complete contempt for fakery

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

How do military families handle communication when a service member is injured overseas?

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I see through liars

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

Why is Taylor Swift re-recording her albums?

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

Gen X, millennials are about three times more likely than their parents to be diagnosed with appendix cancer, study finds - CNN

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I actually pay taxes

What do most wives fantasize about?

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I understand how hurricane paths work

What is the most ridiculous obviously false verse in the Bible?

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

My son is possessed, now he has psychosis. Can someone help me?

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

What does 'Whose flesh is like the flesh of donkeys’ mean (Ezekiel 23:20)?

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

What are the best examples of reverse psychology?

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

As a friend of Megan's who also watches Suits, would you advise her not to return to the show in order to protect her character's reputation?

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I can count

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

Will Colapinto replace Doohan as second driver at Alpine Team during the 2025 season or is just a rumour of Argentine press?

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I can read

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I have a reading level above third grade

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I don’t cotton to rapists

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I don’t buy bullshit

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”